Chair Collector Pillows

'There's only one chair. It's about to get ugly ladies.'

False alarm; chair salesman

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'All uncomfortable chairs become antiques. The comfortable ones were worn out a long time ago.'

"Don't worry, it's her birthday present."

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Shoes Make The Man

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"Do you smell something?"

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"Would you like to try them out?"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

Utility Chic.

After 9pm Harry Lomax slips quietly into cruise control.

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Best to keep downwind.'

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop