Certainty Seeker T-Shirts

'What's come over Heisenberg? He seems to certain about everything these days.'

At the Museum

Thinking Gears

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Any questions?"

"Me? How about you go closer and read the plaque!"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

"They’re real."

The discovery of electricity...

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

' Get ready to make a wish.'

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

Eureka!

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"Bet you five bucks they both fall for the old 'zebra egg'."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

Ego Increasing School

Ostrich Curoisities

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.