Ceremony Commentator Pillows

"No, of course I don't want you to catch a nasty cold but..."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'He does.'

Graduates on their phones

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'They call it the people dance.'

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Pundits

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"You said it—everybody heard you."

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

'Please disregard the previous message about the imminent collapse of the global economy'

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

Focus Groupies

Martin is much gratified by an imposing ceremony

'We sell gifts for people to give to graduates they know.'

Presidential election-Joe Biden

"I'm so tired of hearing about "The Squad"."They're Too left-wing and divisive and, boy, do they thing they know everything."

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

RETIREMENT VOWS

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

"I now pronounce you guilty."

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

Mayor Gojo presents a keycard to the city to celebrity.