Ceremony Champions Pillows

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'He does.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

First Prize!

Folk Wedding

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

The Aisle

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

'What, They're comfortable.'

Double Wedding

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

Confirmation of Westminster School Boys at the Abbey

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.