Ceremony Champions Pillows

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Okay.. what the hell.'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'He does.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'Huh. Where'd all my birthday decorations go???'

Folk Wedding

First Prize!

'They call it the people dance.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

The Aisle

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

GLAD-YOU-ATION

'What, They're comfortable.'

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Double Wedding

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'

"Just a moment, please. I would like my mother's maiden name included."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.