Cerebral Comic Fan T-Shirts

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

Alien embryo growing in earth.

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Yeah, the Jekyll and Hyde thing is weird, but if I play it right, I get fed twice."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Horse draws a baby carriage.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Archeologists discover Egyptian Computers.

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

Focus Group Failures

"No offence Jon, but..."

"It's your turn to change him."

'Margaret our phone's been tapped!'

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

You'd think I'd learn after four dates, but I keep running back to her.

"It covers up all the debt."

Top Secret Files

Barber does skinhead's haircut with a lawn mower.

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

'...and I also feel guilty for smelling up your office.'

'I finally got my pouch pierced.'

"Mom said we're old enough to take care of you, so this is our new chain of command!"

"You don’t seem happy here."