Cerebral Humorist T-Shirts

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Intelligent people laugh too!

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

Scarcity

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Archimedes statue with a lever

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

Terry had a computer bug.

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

Hardware and software

PET THEORIES

Schrödinger and his cat

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

The new Physics