Center Stage Crowd Pillows

'They all want to play the star.'

"Just be yourself."

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

Birds doing the 'wave'.

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"It's Cinderella?!?"

"Well, that's show business."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

"Can you perform under pressure?"

'I wish your father wouldn't dance at weddings. It's so embarrassing.'

'You mean as opposed to a rural gnome?'

Meet the Plagiarist

'Honey! Hurry and help me bar the door! I saw a bunch of rowdy senior citizens in parrot masks down by the arena!'

'I figured if you have to work for a living then why not do it HERE!'

Masked Pianist

Gavin sends his Pet Rock to a rock concert.

Intramission

"Don't make me come down there."

Quatre-mains

The Epsom Derby - Jockey Rides Out through the Crowd

the world's first music critic...

Natalie Merchant

"We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea."

Legend Elvish Presley rocks at hobgoblin fest

"Hi - we're called Clingfilm and we are a cover band. . ."

'No, I didn't sow them - we had a pop concert here last year.'

Elton John

'Never-never land.'

'The Feng Shui of this auditorium must be off.'