Center-of-attention Pillows

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Likes: $2.

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

As Seen On TV

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

A group of people in an art gallery staring at a phone

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

Mentioning 'Sex'

'Seriously folks...'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Attention surplus

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Your attention span is not very long.'

"The baby is one thing - but how does the plant get more likes than me?"

"It screams, 'I'm bold, proud, and require ample sun protection.'"