Center Of Attention Fan T-Shirts

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"The overthinker"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Pie Charts, Inc.

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

"I'd better get going. I've got a lot coming at me right now."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"Don't be afraid to laugh at your problems. Everyone else does!"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Centaur Sprinter

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

So, when did I realize I was a control freak, doc?…

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Self-realization.

Man planning on standing on a turntable to aid hammer throw.

George realized that eating up the neighbourhood had caused a certain extent of loneliness.

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

"Now, don't move, I'm going to practice my high jump and need a good landing mattress..."

Burning the Scarecrow

I never realised that my personality had a 2 for 1 split.

"You're only trying to migrate from yourself."

"Can you recite back where I said, ‘He’s such a drama queen’? I just want to hear you say it.”

Man watching sunset trapped in net: 'I was captured by the moment.'

You haven't said a word in 30 minutes, Al. What do you expect me to say after a half hour of silence? "Thank you"?

Football fan

Prisoner does Shot Put with an Ankle Ball and Chain