Celestial Saver Pillows

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

Father

"Well, of course it's plastic!"

Global warming causes widespread flooding, but fortunately scientists were able to locate the giant plug on the ocean floor.

"I belonged to the Audubon Society."

'Let's see what they're screwing up today.'

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."

Coastguard

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

Must Adopt As A Pair.

No caption. (An astronomer looks through a high-powered telescope while a baby in a crib looks through a hand-held scope).

You are everywhere.

'Oh - It's you.'

'Whoops!'

"Gazing at stars really makes you realise the insignificance of your co-workers."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

'I hate to break it to you, but moons don't grow up to be planets OR stars.'

"It's a small fridge, honey. Not everything is going to make the cut."

Efforts Results In Seeing Stars

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

From trash to treasure

Sun Wearing Sunglasses/Moon Wearing Night Vision Goggles

'He seems nice.'

'I realize it's not much of a war, but it's all we can afford right now.'

CPA. It looks like some of our clients might have tax problems this year. Halley's Comet files a return only once every 75 years. And the black hole seems to be hiding lots of income. Neither Pluto nor Mars can pay what they owe. Pluto's assets are frozen. And Mars isn't called the "Red Planet" for no reason. I think earth might be the only one getting a refund. Of course, it has billions of dependents!

Shoot for the moon or die in the vacuum of space

A Close Call

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo