Celestial Ponderer Pillows

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

"It's funny, but I still feel a little stressed out."

"Have you traveled outside of the country? Any fever or sore throat?"

"Did you do all of this for me?"

"This is a presidential pardon. These are no good here."

"I don't see HIS name on it."

Spying on Heaven

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

The Origins of Everything

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

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"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'