Celestial Escapist T-Shirts

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

Last Chance For Reality

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

God Plays Baseball with the Earth

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'The last thing I said to him was: 'whatever you do, don't look at the sun through this thing'.'

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

"I had a dream about a huge flaming rock falling from the sky! What do you think it means?"

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

My dinner with Andromeda

"I suppose we could call it the doughnut asteroid..."

Johannes Kepler

"Mr. Jenkins' idea of paradise is a never occupied loo, a big flat screen with hundreds of free sports channels and a fridge that always gets refilled with beer and pizza."

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"Not again!"

"I don't know—maybe we could look at something besides Canis Major tonight?"

"Yeah, it works, but you still shouldn't have forgotten the flag!"

Zoo Employees

"I've half a mind to protest."

FSBO Heaven

"Wow - you should've been out there! That meteor shower was spectacular!!"