Celestial Coffee Lovers T-Shirts

"Oh, that's what those are for!"

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"Who says dark matter is elusive?"

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

'What's the wi-fi like?'

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

Eye Opener

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

"And on the eighth day, God lamented the Hollywood adage 'You're only as good as your last picture.'"

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

"I've been hearing nothing but good things about you."

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"Jacoby found a Starbucks."

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

Pizza delivery to heaven.

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

"We'll cut you some slack because you're new here, but in the future you should know we frown on Devil's food."

'Sure $16.95 is a lot for a burger and fries, but what can you do?'

"The trouble with you, sunshine, you think everything revolves around you!"

'Doesn't this jukebox play anything but hymns?'

'What did I say? NO PANTIES!!'

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'

The Fountain of Espresso

'Personally, I think the cumulous taste more cotton candy then marshmallow.'

'He's built the ark...start the el ino project.'