Celebrity Story Enthusiast Pillows

'Thanks Uncle Steve! There's nothing like a good ghosted story at Christmas.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Where was the TSA?'

Audio Books

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Little Red Riding Carpet

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

Jacques et Jille

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

Hansel and Gretal

Tom Hanks

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"This is what's known as a book."

George Clooney Machine

Alberich steals the gold