Celebrity Satire Lovers Gifts

Media Attention for Aliens

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

U of Debt

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

"She wishes to range free!"

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Police film evidence

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

Jack in the box on strike.

Bureaucracy gone mad!