Celebrity Makeup Artist Gifts

WHAT IF?....Joan Rivers never had plastic surgery!!

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Woman applying makeup

Alien Beauty Magazine

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

Television guests' essentials in November.

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

Complete Makeover

"More concealer?"

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

'There's no charge for the carrier bag!'

"Your mascara is running."

The girl who has everything...

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

Don't hate me becasue I'm beautiful.