Celebrity Lookalike Fan Club Gifts

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Harriet Walter

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

Hollywood or bust!

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

Dua Lipa caricature

Elton John

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

Principal about Justin Bieber Junior High school: 'I was against letting the students name the school.'

Rachel Anne McAdams caricature

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

David Letterman

Madonna

Plankton impersonator gets stuck in a whale.

'Really? -- I'd always assumed that Elton John was one of us.'

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

Dog Formerly Known as Prince

Elvis fans

Amy Schumer

"I think I'd rather wait till Benedict Cumberbatch does the audiobook."

Stephen Fry

Vannamania

Antonio Banderas

"I pick up most of my wisdom from celebrity interviews.'

Mathew Maconaughy

Ray Davies

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'

"Although a face transplant is theoretically possible you still can't have Brad Pitt's."

Taylor Swift caricature