Celebrity Fantasizers Pillows

'Well, let's work with the assumption that Harry Styles doesn't want to marry you...'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'I'm a star!'

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

'Let's rock!'

'Is that you, Take That?'

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

"As a foolproof retirement plan hoping that one of the Kardashians falls for you might be a little optimistic."

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

Dreaming pets.

"Although a face transplant is theoretically possible you still can't have Brad Pitt's."

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

Next: I'm STILL a 'D' list celebrity - sack my agent!

Ron Perlman

"It's time."

Justin Bieber

School children looking at different careers from magazine covers, each involving celebrity status.

"Oh, I'm happy enough - I just wish my life were more like Sting's."

Celebrity Accountant

"Good night Arnold, hello George Clooney."

Dreams I have had (of the famous)

'It's our, 'message in a bottle'... It says; 'Return to sender, due to insufficient postage'.'

BEZ.

"Scarlett Johansson"? Look, pal, I'm a wishing star, not a miracle-working star!

"So, if you could date anyone, who would it be?"

Bradley Cooper

'I'm sorry. The possibility that you may have won $10 million in the sweepstakes won't do as collateral.'

'Tweeting inappropriate pictures of yourself could ruin your financial future.'

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

"That's like so unfair, Mum, why do I have to do something to be famous? Why can't I just be famous?!"