Celebrity Culture Observer Gifts

"I think he was a celebrity."

Celebrity Yobs.

"You don't think it's too Johnnie Cochran?"

Why, Owen, Why?

The Rip-roaring World of Self-Denial Journalism

"Ack! You can't just blurt out that one of the icons of my youth is dead, you hafta prepare me!"

"I'm on a celebrity diet, I probably shouldn't have chosen Elvis."

The americanisation of vulture.

'It helps you navigate around celebrity parties.'

'Whoa! About your Twitter image. Do you have the same photographer as Nick Nolte?

'It's only a game of Snake and Ladders, Gillian.'

Glenn Hoddle

Johnny Cash

"Attention shoppers...due to a scheduling conflict...the role of telenovela star Victor Guerrero is being played today by assistant produce manager Billy Joe Quiggle!"

Pepparazzi

"If you get accepted into the art world I suppose that'll be the end of us merely sunbathing."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Star Wars vs Star Trek

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Little Red Riding Carpet

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

100 best beheadings

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

Police Statetion

George Clooney Machine

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Ringo Starr

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Nick Cave

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."