Celebrity Culture Advocate T-Shirts

'Call my manager and we will work something out.'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Little Red Riding Carpet

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

George Clooney Machine

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Nick Cave

Leo McKern

Ringo Starr

Snow White and her Seven people.

Bette Midler

Viggo Mortensen

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

Justin Timberlake

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

Woman Life Freedom

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

Amanda Seyfried

Meryl Streep

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Band Aid-style rock stars wear T-shirts that read : 'Feed my ego'.

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

"Two Cagneys and a side of Garbo to go. Hold the Bogart."

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'