Celebrity Concierge Gifts

"For heaven's sakes, pull up the red carpet!"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

'Get me public relations!'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

A doorman fires a gun into the air.

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

Oscars

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

Maps of the Human Genome

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

'Anyway, you look wonderful. Mind if I ask who does your lighting?'

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

"He loves to give autographs!"

"Don't move - I don't think we're being watched."

'Can I have a refund if she puts the weight back on.'

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

'Do something dumb, media blitz, full disclosure, ask for forgiveness...you're back on top!'

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"