Celebrity Advisor Pillows

Bill Gates ambushed by divorce lawyers.

"It is we."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Reign Man

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Friend or foe?"

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

The King In The Rain.

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

Where Are They Now?

"I know you're angry when you cross your arms."

'Do you have an appointment?'

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

Celebrity 10 o'clock news...

'An important update..'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

"Hold on - I'm in the middle of one of Cher's fascinating political tweets."

'A whoopee cushion! — I'll bet Karl Rove is behind this somewhere!'

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I've been talking to … um … Tina for three whole weeks … Do you think it's too early to try and get her to move out her near me? Excellent question. The answer is, we're all barreling full-steam toward death and incontinence. So seize the moment!!! that's both depressing and uplifting at the same time.

"If you had only listened to me when you were six and not eaten that dirt."

"Due to the financial state of the kingdom were turning the castle into a Bed & Breakfast & Ransom."

'If it hurts when you make webs, Dear, maybe you should see a spin doctor.'

"It's from Henry VIII, sire. He's going to be in town and wants to know where the best hook-up spots are."

Oprah talks in her sleep...

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

'It feels great now, but you will see when it's pulled out.'

'so let me get this straight... you're famous for being the sister of the wife of a man who went to school with someone who knew someone else who is already famous?'

'I need a commitment. I don't want to just hang out with you.'