Celebration Skipper Gifts

Sleeping through new year celebrations

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

'Turkey again! It's the sixth of January... Just how big was that flaming bird?!'

Vicar absent from church due to car boot sale.

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"I want the contract to say that if we win the championship, no one pours champagne on my head."

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

Larry's binge drinking, though annoying, started a terrific domino party tradition....

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Pinata filled with pinatas.

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

Crime Prevention Seminar

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I want or #2: Endure an excruciatingly dull presentation..."

"I'm putting you on a skipping diet. . .Skip cakes and wine."

There's no need to behave like a wild animal...but it's FUN!!!

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

In the supermarket

"I'm skipping 'Happy Hour,' Carl—it's Friday night—zen tennis clinic at the shul."

'I don't care if he eagled with a great shot. I'm penalizing him a strok for excessive celebrating.'

"Assigned to cloud nine! I haven't been there since I caught that twelve pound bass!"

"Since I deeply value recognition, I'm honored to present this 'Outstanding Effort' award to what's-his-name here."

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

'Caution wet deck'

'Ted hates parties.'

'Something tell me we should have been in church this Sunday.'