Celebrating Birthdays Gifts

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'It seems with every year my hot flashes get worse.'

'Turning forty is nothing in this day and age. Forty is the new thirty.' 'Damn! I remember how bad I felt the LAST time I was thirty.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

Life Begins at 40

'It floated in here a few minutes ago. Find out whose it is and bring me a piece of cake.'

"Time to blow out the candles. Take a deep breath....Ok. Let's try something easier. Take a shallow, raspy breath."

Child's Birthday: 'More junk, I bet!'

"My husband has such a good memory: He's never missed a birthday or a wedding anniversary..."

'I wish my husband had what it takes to listen to me.'

Vegetarian Birthdays.

"The older I get, the older 'Old' gets."

"She admits to being 40, but not when."

"I'm going to close my eyes and count to three. When I open them, ten of those candles better be gone."

Happy Birthday Gran!

How aging affects weight loss in snowmen...

"Yes, it's my birthday. In dog years, my age does not sound too bad, but I get depressed when Master cites it in human years..."

"Somehow, saying that 50 is the new 40 doesn't cheer me up!"

"Somehow, you saying that 50 is the new 40 doesn't cheer me up!"

"What I'd like for my birthday. Please listen carefully as my menu has changed..."

'I wish I looked more attractive.'

'I bet my mum's had more 29th birthdays than yours!''

'Stop going on about flowers and perfume, it's the same every time on your birthday.'

"He's on a diet so I told him he could HALF his cake and eat it, too."

"I wanted to give you a rose for every year you've lived, but it was impossible to get that many roses. Happy birthday dear!"

'They received a thank-you note from their grand-daughter for her birthday gift.'

"My memory's so bad I can plan my own surprise party."

A good smoke matters more than making it another year.

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"The good news is you got another birthday card. The bad news is it's from the funeral home."

"O.K.! Time to make a wish, clear it with me, and blow out the candles."

"Today I'm fifty--- the old halfway point."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Big Bang Theory.