Celebrating Birthdays Gifts

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'Turning forty is nothing in this day and age. Forty is the new thirty.' 'Damn! I remember how bad I felt the LAST time I was thirty.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

Life Begins at 40

'It floated in here a few minutes ago. Find out whose it is and bring me a piece of cake.'

"Time to blow out the candles. Take a deep breath....Ok. Let's try something easier. Take a shallow, raspy breath."

Child's Birthday: 'More junk, I bet!'

"My husband has such a good memory: He's never missed a birthday or a wedding anniversary..."

"The older I get, the older 'Old' gets."

"She admits to being 40, but not when."

Happy Birthday Gran!

"Yes, it's my birthday. In dog years, my age does not sound too bad, but I get depressed when Master cites it in human years..."

"Somehow, saying that 50 is the new 40 doesn't cheer me up!"

"Somehow, you saying that 50 is the new 40 doesn't cheer me up!"

"What I'd like for my birthday. Please listen carefully as my menu has changed..."

'I bet my mum's had more 29th birthdays than yours!''

'Stop going on about flowers and perfume, it's the same every time on your birthday.'

"I wanted to give you a rose for every year you've lived, but it was impossible to get that many roses. Happy birthday dear!"

'They received a thank-you note from their grand-daughter for her birthday gift.'

"My memory's so bad I can plan my own surprise party."

A good smoke matters more than making it another year.

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"The good news is you got another birthday card. The bad news is it's from the funeral home."

"O.K.! Time to make a wish, clear it with me, and blow out the candles."

"Today I'm fifty--- the old halfway point."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

Mouse with a cat cake.

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."