Ceiling Critic T-Shirts

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"We'll always hate Paris."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

A new meaning in the Roman

"I've changed my mind"

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"And remember the rule: when the carpet is old, that's when we hold, when the carpet is new, that's when we spew!"

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'Corporations' studying a city for its 'pros' and 'cons'

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'I hate bird watching in the city.'

"We seem to be the only animals here."

Man painting the ceiling with the help of an umbrella.

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

"That was a boring field trip."

'So, Pluto, you prefer the term 'little planet' to 'dwarf planet.' Is that correct?'

Gentrification vs Manchester...

"Kids terrify me."

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

"Sometimes, on a clear day, you can actually see a tree..!"

'I wonder if Michael Angelo got a stiff neck when he painted the ceiling!'

Style Consultant

"Are you sure these comment cards are anonymous?"

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

'It's that plan to re-introduce wildlife into their original territory.'