Cctv Operator With A Funny Bone T-Shirts

"They don't prevent crime, but the videos make great blooper reels."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

Movers and shakers.

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

"Get names!"

"Sadly, we're seeing more and more of this as we encroach on their natural habitat."

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

"If at first you don't succeed, give up skydiving."

'Hey, I could help you with your homework, don't eat much, plus you never have to walk me. What do you say?'

"I lost 5 pounds and you didn't even notice!"

'She's not 'pushing 40' - she's 'dragging' it!'

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

'Miss Mckinley, do you have a penny? My desk is wobbly.'

I start everyday by reading the paper. (on dart board: Go back to Medical School,Get a real job,Watch t.v.steal ideas,Read comics steal ideas)

'Don't be frightened, he's only been 'n' gone 'n' done his back in again.'