Cautionary Tale Fan Gifts

"The clerk's back is turned ? go for it."

"You might wanna lay off the Generics."

"Whatever you do, do not go in the sauna."

"You should all get along beautifully. Fred handles toxic wastes, Doris works at a nuclear reactor, and Walter just isn't taking any chances."

Giant bird.

Street signs you don't want to see.

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

Geekasaurus.

"It's called being preemptive."

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Robot Olympics

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

"He wasn't specific. His last message just said, play it safe - whatever that means."

"Good day, young sir! Would you care to exchange your cows for some preference shares in Beanstalk Development Industries?"

Geekasaurus.

It says: monument to unknown tourist who thought crocodiles only stick to river banks."

Only Larry showed a look of concern as he remembered his mother's warnings that he should never run with Scissors.

The Electric Fence Survivors Support Group

"I've followed this guy on social media for years, so I figure I can't go wrong following him in real life..."

Instantly, tongue knew he was in real trouble and that all his mom's warning, hither to ignore, were true.

'My wife left me and I lost my fortune. Well, not in this order.'

"Something tells me we should avoid the sushi here!"

"You'll be sorry Charles!"

"Beware of everything."

'Tortoise and the ne'er-do-well...'

"Nope. I'm not falling for another Pyramid Scheme."

Cigarette Ash has made evil face.

"I've said it until I'm blue in the face - keep sitting on walls and something bad's going to happen. But what do I know? I'm just your mother."

'They all ran after the farmer's wife, she cut off their tails with a carving knife...well, some of the tails wouldn't come off right away, so she had to chop, and chop, and chop, and...'

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.

Stop before it's too late