Cause Collector Gifts

Save Thy Soul - Save Our Historical Landmarks - Save Water

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

"I wonder what this was for."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

'How old is this vase?'

"Right - that's my laptop, my laptop charger...my kindle, my kindle charger....my iphone, my iphone charger...my ipad, my ipad charger...all my spare batteries and spare chargers...hmmm, I don't seem to have any room for my clothes..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"Your new book, 'Help - My Head's Caught in a Pipe,' has been called by some to be semi-autobiographical. Can you comment on these rumors?"

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

'To you, fifty quid - c'mon guv, it's HANDMADE!'

Antiques Store with a bin outside with a sign saying 'Not for Sale'.

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'