Caught In The Act Pillows

'Before you say anything, just let me change my Facebook status to ‘it's complicated'.'

"His wife caught him with another woman and clipped his wings."

X marks the spot.

Showbiz Awards

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Joan Hickson

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

Melanie Griffith

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

"I want to thank all the little people."

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

"One of these days you're going to throw that thing and I'm not going to bring it back."

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

Jacqueline Bisset caricature

Morgan Freeman

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

BAFTA/Oscar lack of diversity

"He had a few drinks while planning where to meet for a drink before the pre-award drinks"

The Oscars

Mathew Maconaughy

"Harrison Ford, no question." "Tom Selleck, without a doubt." "I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better 'Indiana Jones'." "Ford was OK, but his character was less than manly." "What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness!" "You're telling me the 'definition of eighties manliness' could run around the world for weeks and months at a time... and never once grow anything more than a little stubb

"I'll sign you up right now, provided you ditch the no talent big guy."

'Is this still part of your act?!'

Red Carpet

The Mime and Tabernacle Choir Singing Silent Night.