Cattle Caretaker Pillows

'Down a few volts yet Harry!'

'What the hell kind of veterinarian are you going to make...'

'I don't like these calf scour tablets!...

"Collapsed Udder Syndrome?"

'Now tell me Mrs. Swartsbunt, can you pick out the guy who slaughtered your husband?'

'I told you twice, it's an OB glove not a BO glove.

A cow ventriloquist.

"Foster failure"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Bathing the dog

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"He wants a second opinion."

'I've stopped him using the exercise bike...'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'Where did the little bird go?'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'Marmaduke, have you been drooling on my cookbooks again?'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

A mother dog in a big dog house feeding her puppies who are all in their own small dog houses.

The difference between cats and dogs.