Catchy Songs Gifts

Will play something to replace that song stuck in your head.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

A Bloody Butcher

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"Yes, 'the lion sleeps tonight', I know the tune, but it means it's had a good feed during the day, which is not really a good thing..."

"Ok, I get it, you're happy and you know it. Now quit clapping."

Trout Game

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

"One of these days you're going to throw that thing and I'm not going to bring it back."

"I like a Gershwin tune. How about you?"

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

Sinead O'Connor.

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

"Papi, I don't think I play the guitar very well."

"Exaggerate!"

Playing catch with dog until your arm gives out.

"It's my pet mouse, Elvis. He was caught in a trap."

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

'It seems your heart replaced the 'Boom-Boom' beat with a funny ringtone!'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

"And now, our newest hit song..."

'Boy I hate children: They sing 'Eeny Meeny Miney Mo' and then catch me by the toe...'

"Before I go in, just what did Billy Joe McCaluster throw off the Talihatchie bridge?"

The Unfinished Symphony

" I think we have a deal. He goes walking down the street with you as long as you refrain from singing do wah diddy, diddy dum diddy do."

"What's the other half of our brain doing?"

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

Vowels: E-I-E-I-O. And sometimes 'Y'.