Catalog Shopping Gifts

Stranger in Strange Land's End Catalog

'You're in luck. It comes in Large, Extra Large and Bowl Full Of Jelly.'

'I just love mail order catalogues. It's so much easier to eat delivery people than to chase gazelle.'

'Let's face it - home shopping catalogues are marketed at old people...' - '...but with a bit of lateral thinking they could easily target busy young professionals.' - 'These 'bathing wipes', for example, mean I can now wash my lower half on the way to wo

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

The Dorrie Decimal System

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Cut Price

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).