Cat-owning Partner Pillows

Yes, I am a Sphynx-Cat, and yes, I am called "Fluffy". My Master has a sick sense of humour...

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"And where have you previously moused?"

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Cat with Nine Still Lives

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Cat medal presentations take a long time

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"Now you can stop watching those cute cat videos."

"I hate it..."

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

"We should start wearing masks."

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'

After bring your cat to work day, I ended up with 5 extra cats.

The online yoga class was not without interruptions.