Cat-dog Dynamic Explorer Pillows

"Well, if it wasn't you who meowed, and it certainly wasn't me who meowed...then...who...meowed?"

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'The dog wants to come home with us, mom!'

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

'Good book?'

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

"Someone here has gobbled down all the food rations..."

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

"Some people think the CEO has the most power, but I select everyone's chairs."

"Seven hundred wives? I'll bet he had a lot of inlaw problems?"

"It's half past November, young man! Get back in your room and hibernate!"

How were the academic departments on the campuses you visited? Dad!!! Stop stressing me!! College hunting is hard enough without you prying into every detail of my life! Arrghh!! How were the drama departments?

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

Thanks to the kitty-cam, curiosity no longer kills the cat.

'And that's Mel. To be honest, I've always found him to be a hard person to nail down!'

"Are you too old to remember all the advice you tried to give me when I was too young to care?"

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

"Lift your stems."

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

'She lets the aupair drive the 4x4 to prep school.'

Egyptian Mummy Wrap

'Okay, one time, but just remember who the evil twin in this family really is.'

'If I was a bird - do you know who I'd poop on first?'