Casual Meeting Enthusiast Gifts

"Yes, we are fishing, but we're also going to talk business, so get rid of that stupid hat!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

Responsibility and duties

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

Conference Pears

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

The Sky Is The Limit

"I just wonder if there aren't some team members who could be a bit more focused in meetings."

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

Agreeable Noises

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'This committee will have two functions - to execute my plans and to accept responsibility if they fail.'