Casual Interviewer Pillows

'Great resume, next time you plan a long walk in the woods, let me know, I'd like to tag along.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'Anorak anoraks'.

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

The Schmoozy Reaper

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

'Oh, no, those aren't the kid's drawings. Dave is taking adult education art class.'

Just a little heads up!

"I just realized that unless I'm riding for some cause, I must look like an idiot."

Please Leave by 9

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'I drink to bring about change.'

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

"After the truffle season peaks, we like to kick back and do a little clamming."

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

This week we've explored what might happen if there were a military draft. Hear what I say: How many soldiers died today? Now back to our regular programming. My iPad's shiny. My oil stocks are soaring.

"Round of golf or a round of drinks?"

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

"I hate rhetorical questions. Know what I mean?"

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

'I simply don't know what I'd do with mother, if it wasn't for the squatters!'