Casual Dieters Pillows

"He tried intermittent fasting. But settled on continual slowing."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

'You're going to go on a diet.'

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

'Am I safe in assuming that your requirements do not include a formal dining room?'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

Cream tea...without the cream,butter or jam and no milk with the tea!

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

'Weight loss can cause liver damage...'

"This is my exit strategy."

"And for exercise, I walk around the block a few times every day."

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.

The Fast Diet

'Every time I go on a diet, some kind of physiological disturbance kicks in that sends me off on a feeding frenzy.'

"This Subway Diet is way better than that Atkins nonsense."