Casual Day Hero Pillows

"Perhaps you could bring less ecstasy to the commencement of your flex time schedule."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

Fathers are Heroes

Snail crossing

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"Memo from the top, guys. Apparently the 'casual dress days' are getting a little out of hand"

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

'I try to go to the office once-a-week just to see how I'm doing.'

Tunnel of like

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

Use it or lose it.

'I realize working in the Complaints Department can be tough. But it must be a thrill to work with the public on a daily basis.'

'Actually I'm looking for a less meaningful relationship. I didn't understand the last one!'

Intoducing Wonderman: the superhero for your everyday needs.

"We're just like one big happy family here."

"This is doing nothing for my abs."

' This is 'casual dress day' Rosandich..When I introduce a 'ridiculous dress day' I'll let you know!'

Man Struggling with Taxes/Clothing/Medical/Misc/Food/Shelter/Education.

Carrying burdens - Ghetto blaster

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

Lethargics Anonymous - In, Out and Pending Trays.

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

'Don't laugh - it paid out more than 18 grand last week.'

'I think casual fridays are getting too casual.'

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

"I know what you mean, Mary - after a while all the guys start to sound the same to me, too."

"I wasn't ghosting you I promise!"