Casual Chef Pillows

"That reminds me. The church pot luck dinner is Sunday."

'Is that Icarus having a barbeque?'

'Would you order two copies of this magazine? All of the recipes are always torn out.'

'Anyone lost a mobile?'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

Little chef.

Tzatzikicicle

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Sushi Train Set.

Scales

Spatula Conductor

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

Artist and chiken

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

Sushi For Men...

'Carrot cake!.. What's next?.. Broccoli cake?'

"Why are they called freshers when they only eat processed food?"