Casual Chef Pillows

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

"That reminds me. The church pot luck dinner is Sunday."

'Is that Icarus having a barbeque?'

'Would you order two copies of this magazine? All of the recipes are always torn out.'

'Anyone lost a mobile?'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Better Not Squash.

Little chef.

Tzatzikicicle

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Sushi Train Set.

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

Scales

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

The Bachelor Chef TV Show. First, remove last night's pizza from the fridge. Then eat cold for breakfast. Shoot! 29 minutes left to kill.

"The tiny red things were harvested from Frankie's bonsai tree."

Spatula Conductor

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

'Trying to eat her dinners is the only exercise I get.'

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

Artist and chiken

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

"I'm making 'libido helper' for dinner!"

'They use paper plates.'