Castle Renovators T-Shirts

"I wish you'd do something about the moat."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Painting the Ceiling

'I found the termites!'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

Medieval headlines.

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'How are you doing on your side?'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

Renovation work at Mount Rushmore.

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"We'd like you to think of it not as a 'brick', but rather as an essential component of a potential self-build project."

"I thought this was a do it YOURself project."

WC problem.

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

'I've spent the last 20 years modernising the house and now you say it looks old-fashioned!'

'...and you may notice a few of the previous owner's personal touches.'

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

"It's a quote form the builder, he says that the $2000 will just cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!"

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

Painting and decorating

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

"We'd like to buy your house, then offer you the job of demolishing it."