Castle Critiquer T-Shirts

'GESUNDHEIT, EVERYBODY!', 'That's his idea of universal health care.'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'I think they're up to something.'

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'The knights are drawing closer'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

Knight walking a dog.

'Oh dear, Hamlet seems to have developed turrets syndrome.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

Grimm's Fairytales - The Golden Bird

'Just one criticism of you review of last night's opening play - you omitted to mention that the theatre burnt down while you were supposed to be there!'

Castle Efficiency

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"But is it art?"

"He said the only thing he wanted for his birthday was a wave machine."

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

'If you ask me, all his tough talk on national issues is seriously undermined by the fuzzy pajamas.'

What a moon set.

Sick Exhibitionist

'Is that the trebuchet?'

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

Urban Development - Cutting down trees and naming streets after them.

"That was a boring field trip."

"Tell Her Highness I think the people from the collection agency are here."

'You wanna get some WD-40 on that, mate.'

'Have a nice summit conference -- don't destabilize anything.'

"I would venture to say it's the best thing since that contraption we use to crank up a draw bridge."

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'