Castaway Comedy Lovers Pillows

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

Lesser known greek gods,

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

How Amazon was invented

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."