Cashless Strategist Pillows

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Will work for ETFs

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Investing your savings

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

Fries and kids

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"The time has come for some tough cost-cutting decisions, and I'm forced to ask myself, do we really need a bass?"

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

'Walk softly and carry a large credit line.'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

The early days of Warren Buffett.

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'Are you good with decimals? Our certificate of deposit is currently paying 0.025%.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

Pound sign in an hourglass.

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

'They are like family...they're my family of retirement funds.'

Nest Egg

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

The Mattress Savings Bank