Cash-less Crusaders T-Shirts

"It's not quite the same."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

DIY Butchers

'It won't take bitcoins.'

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

'Fuel efficiency? I get about three times around the block on a peanut butter sandwich.'

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

It's the only crossing guard they can afford.

'Were the lemons grown locally?'

"In order to cut costs we are no longer animating our presentations..."

"Making money's eve more of a kick when no one else is."

"This company wants to make money, NOT spend money. Turning on the lights would go against our goal."

Smelling Salts at the Petrol Station.

"Somehow, we started out with a plan for debt-free money and ended up with money-free debt."

Energy bills rise

"Says he can't afford the hospital's parking fees!"

"You mean pesticides and herbicides aren't the same?"

What everyone wants for Christmas 2022

'We would save even more money if we delivered mail ONLY on Saturdays...'

German cities ban diesel cars.

"Taking crazy risks gives me such a rush. Like check out my phone. No case!"

'Spiralling costs! We're all in the same boat, Vicar.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, I must warn you that when I come to hammer out the budget details, I do not fool around.'

Aisle 4 Water

Expensive water supplies.

"Hi! I'm here for Bob the Vegan."

'Y'know, the cost of living has stayed the same for the past twenty years...' 'Ten percent more than I earn!'

Bears Inc. Magazine.

"Then it's agreed -- we let the Russians handle our ad campaign."