Cash Crazy Kid Gifts

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

A child stands behind a stand piled high with snowballs and a sign that reads "Hand-crafted snowballs 25¢".

Little league world series of poker.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

Professional football.

"Well? Have I hit it yet?"

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

Another Truism Bites the Dust.

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

'Don't just sit there buffering, clean up you room.'

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

"Video game? No, I'm using the raise in my allowance to buy back stock."

"What do you mean 'It's only money'?"

'The dollar doesn't buy much, so could I have my allowance in Euros?'

'God bless mommy, daddy, spot, and that sports car I bought off the Internet with daddy's credit card.'

"Forget the allowance. I'm getting more than I need from venture capital."

"Country's going to the wall, mate!"

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

'Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?'

'Never mind that stuff -- I'm going to tell you the financial facts of life!'