Cartoon Editor Gifts

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

". . .He's a cartoon editor and did it trying to watch his back!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Occu-Pie Mars

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Skipping Horse

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"We only got six days of funding."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Torturing the English Language

Can You Spot the Differences?

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Trump pardons

Cariactures

Claus 2.0

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Lactose Intolerant

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Reagacentennial

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.