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'I want nice man-bag.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"All natural snow cones for sale."

The Runaway Horse

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Are you made of sugar?'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."