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"First of all, there was a bee in the car."

"It doesn't matter what you like - according to the demographics, this is the car for you."

My Other Car Is A Sleigh

"One he gets them in a bear-hug, it's usually a done deal."

'You sold the Mercedes-Benz to the guy who fixed our copier? For cash?'

"Try honking again."

"We can't come to an agreement about how to fix your car, Mr. Simons. Sometimes that's the way things happen in a democracy."

'Those, my friend, are lug nuts. You know how allergic I am to nuts.'

'Safety zone ends, resume driving like idiots.'

"Batteries not included."

"Wheels and an engine? Now you're talking sports package."

"Yeah, I've been in rehub."

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

"While your salesman checks with the manager, could I interest you in a dental exam?"

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'Detroit will try anything to become profitable again.'

"Get all the second opinions you want, doctor, …. You'll still be a quart low."

'Is it peasants or pheasants you're not allowed to pick up if you hit them?'

The Official Pace Car of Your Morning Commute

"Let me do it. You don't understand the science of defrosting."

Steep learning curve ahead.

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

"Does your car have any idea why my car pulled it over?"

'We've found the problem...'

Out Of My Way, Stupid!

"And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe."

Brakes are fine. You need new glasses.

'It just came out of NOWHERE!!'

"Naturally, there's a trade-off for its exceptional fuel economy."

"Risk! What do you mean, risk?"

'When I ask what our inventory is 'What ever' is not an acceptable answer.'

"It doesn't look good. Leave it with us overnight and hope it gets stolen."

'You won't hear that funny noise anymore. I turned up the volume on your radio and pulled off the knob.'

Back Seat Driver