Carrion Aficionado Gifts

'Maybe you just got a hold of something fresh.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'The Burrito King.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Driverless cars rage.

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."