Carpet Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'The dining room? It's 18 wine bottles long, and 15 wide.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"You're welcome."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

Cat being licked by plant.

Live, laugh, love

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

Genie Gets a Good View on the Beach.

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

"And remember the rule: when the carpet is old, that's when we hold, when the carpet is new, that's when we spew!"

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

New Sheik'n'vac magic carpet freshners.

'I said shag carpeting.'

The hazards of Cleaning a Magic Carpet

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

"Don't go so fast...watch out for those birds...keep your eyes in front!"

Men on flying carpets, "I always fly by first class"

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

Shy Man at Party

'Water is included with rent.'

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

'Wall-to-wall carpets go on the floor, not on the walls.'

Bill often considered cutting his armpit hair, but then he'd need to buy carpeting.

"Hi. I'm Steve. I see you here all the time."

American Flag

'I got the raise!'

'Hello, high gloss floor wax - I'd like customer service. Yeah - I would like to report a problem!'

Biggo Carpet Co.: 'Out cutting a rug'

Bird on Flying Carpet.

"Ooh, nice! Hardwood floors!"